I'm out of the Kevin Loop

Is this a bad thing, or should I be counting my blessings. I rely on the rest of y'all to keep me updated on the latest doin's of everyone's favorite security guard.

manipulation

Yesterday in my ethics class we were talking about politicking and manipulation.

At the break, I decided I wanted a snack. Being on the 10th floor, I had no idea how to acquire one. I gathered up some coins for a vending machine, and mosied into the hallway.

There was nothing anywhere indicating any food was available for purchase. But in a moment of brilliance, and inspired by current class discussion, I decided I should ask my buddy Kevin for a little assistance.

Me (sauntering up to 10th floor's security desk where Kevin sat eating): "Hi there."
Kevin: "Hello baby. What can I do for you?"
Me: "Does this floor have a vending machine?"
Kevin: "Only soda."
Me (disappointedly) : "Aww man."
Kevin: "Why? Whatchoo need girl?"
Me: "I just want a snack."
Kevin: "What kinda snack?"
Me (not realizing implications of word choice) : "Chocolate."
Kevin: "Tell you what. You watch my food, I'll be right back." (He stands up.) "You like caramel?"
Me: "Yup!"
Kevin: "You like Caramello?"
Me: "Mmm! Yup!"
Kevin: "How bout a Milky Way?"
Me: "Yup!"
Kevin: "Aight, aight. Watch my food."
Me: "I'll guard it with my life." (He disappears around the corner.)

At this point, I turned to Libby, who stood next to me laughing in disbelief. "He's SO gonna hook me up right now."

A moment later, with the familiar rhythmic clank of his populated key ring, Kevin returned with the promised Caramellos and Milky Ways - two of each.

Kevin: "Here you go girl."
Me: "Wow! Thank you!!"
Kevin: "Mm-hmm. You welcome, you welcome. Don't tell anybody."

Do I feel bad about taking advantage of Kevin for chocolate? Not really. I didn't know he had a secret stash. Do I feel like I should be a little nicer to him now? Not necessarily. Playing hard to get is likely to produce further confectionary results in the future. :)

(I know, I know. I'm horrible.)

outside, lookin' in.

One of my other favorite Kevinsims to tell (Katie and I both retell it frequently) is the one about our first day of class over the summer.

We had one of those small, stifling rooms on the 4th floor that had no windows or ventilation, so we propped the door open for air.

We were going around the class of 9, introducing ourselves. Katie and I were sitting in the back row, and it was her turn to speak. I was seated next to her, and was watching her as she spoke, but my concentration was totally blown when Kevin appeared outside our open door, directly in my line of sight with Katie.

Halfway through her "I'm from Wyoming and..." talk, I caught Kevin's eye and he stood back, licked his lips, and nodded. I, of course, started to laugh. And Katie, of course, had no idea why. Kevin stood out there for the duration, smiling and nodding at me whenever I looked up from the safe wood-like pattern on my desk.

Only when Katie was finished was I able to nudge her and nod towards the door, indicating the source of my giggles. Then Kevin gave her the "wassup nod" and moved on his way, returning to the open door on occasion to check, presumably, that we were safe and sound under his watchful eye.

Kevin, the smooth-talkin' security guard

For anyone who knows him, he needs no introduction.

But for those who don't - let me tell you a thing or two about our man of honor.

Kevin is a security guard at a building in midtown Manhattan. Kevin is brutha, a brutha with a navy blue jacket and big bottle-cap glasses. Kevin greets every single female to the building like he's gonna worship her for life.

"Wassup girrrrrl."

"How you doin' girrrrrl."

"Baby, you make my day better just by being here."

And the beauty is, just about every female in our academic program who has passed Kevin semi-weekly has had to flash a badge and maybe a smile to get access to the elevator. And never, never does he let anyone pass without a pickup line.

This blog will document our journeys with - and without - Kevin, the smooth-talkin' security guard.

For laughs, here is a link to one of my earlier stories: Mack Daddy.

-Stephanie